Thankful

So here I am as the year is closing out, and I have a lump in my gut, and in my throat. Before I can say anything, I start to weep. Why? Am going through so many emotions all at once. I'm hurting, confused, alone, homesick, and unsure what my next step is to be. As I begin to weep, He steps close, He's been waiting for me to get to this point. You see am a very special one, lol! His bride, but still feeling too independent. He knows this too, so He lets the pain hit, cuz then I'll talk to Him with no promptings. As I wept, I talked my heart out, spoke my fears direct into His ears, and He listened, and let me cry out all the insecurities, fears, and acknowledgments of where I've gone off on a tangent. Then I became aware of the fact that it wasn't just Him, the Father and Spirit were also present. So i laid my grievances out at them as well. They listened, and then my Confidante spoke out. He called me out, telling me exactly what i knew, but was unwilling to face. I didn't feel condemned however, simply relieved because He knew, and I knew, and He still was there. Then I had to thank them, and admit my fear of the Father lol. He scares me, just a tad, being larger than life literally. That done, it's all gone, the pain, fear, hurt, depression. He picked it up, rolled it into the tomb from which He arose, the significance, it dies, and I live on. So as the new year prepares to roll in, I am leaving baggage behind, traveling light into the new season. I am expectant, and I am hopeful. Praying that you all, will also let him exchange your burden with His, and His yoke for the one you now bear. Trust me, it's tons lighter...Enjoy my new favorite song with me, this speaks to a place deep within me, a place that yearns daily to learn to live for His glory, and not mine. After all the life I live is no longer my own Gal2:20, my new favorite bible verse, cuz it is so very true. Its not so easy, because the memory of who I used to be is not so easily erased away. But daily, more of me is emptied out, so more of Him can replace it. Becoming more like my endless love...Jesus I live for you.

The harlot and the king of misery - part 1

I am a harlot by trade, faithfulness isn't one of my by-words. In order for you to better understand who i am, i will tell you a tale of love, deceit, and the pain. However i will also tell you a tale of redeeming love. My tale begins at my birth;

I was born on a windy day, and my mother didn't want to be saddled with the responsibility of my upbringing, she wrapped me in the shawl off her shoulder, and in my own blood, she dropped me off in a field. As i struggled to live, i am told that he passed by and saw the bundle. He walked into the field, and opened it, i can only imagine his shock at the bloody mess i must have been.  He whispered live, and carried me in his arms, warmed by his body all the way to one of his homes. There i was rubbed with salts, washed, and put in warm clothes. He provided for my every need, and had servants care for me constantly, it was a rough spot for some days, but then the life he had willed into me was all i needed to pull through. In the early years, under his care, i grew and matured, becoming a graceful and elegant young woman. As i filled out, i caught the eye of many, but he hovered protectively over me. He was not always there, but i never lacked, and he visited often to see that i was doing well. He let me know when i came of age, that his desire was for myself and his son to be married, so i would become a part of him forever. I was thrilled at the idea, i knew no other home, and i had been so blessed with love within the protective walls of his home. Before i would become his son's finally however, i wanted a chance to see what was beyond the walls of the home i had always known. I told him so, but he didn't like the idea, saying outside the walls were many dangers, and that anything could happen to me. I acquiesced, dropped the issue, and enjoyed his visit. I had never met his son, but if he was anything like the father i was sure, i would love him dearly. He left as was custom, and i knew it would be a good three months before i would see him again, but before he left, he gave me an armlet bearing his son's name, asking that i set it upon my arm as a seal. two days after he left, i crept out by the little gate in the garden, and as i walked along the road leading to the town i met two ladies. they were similar in age to me, and we struck up a conversation.

To be continued

Elixir of Life!

I just finished the movie "dying with the king" and I must say kudos goes to the Mike Bamiloye clan. That aside, I wept like  baby, and I will proceed to explain why. I was already sensing that feeling that arises in you, when you see the power of God at work. I saw the lady 'Fadekemi' and her friends praying for 'Alade', and immediately recollected that there is nothing like the prayer covering given to us believers. The point at which I broke down and wept however, was where 'Fadekemi' was in the shrine, and her ropes came undone, one would expect her to dash out, but she made a makeshift cross using the very ropes that held her bound. This is symbolic, i don't know if i am the only one that sees the connection with the fact that when we come to the cross, our chains come undone and are nailed to that old rugged tree. The thought that followed close on the heels of this thought was what a comfort the sight of the cross is to the travel-weary and discouraged child. In her fear, once she had the cross in sight and in hand, she went ahead to wreck havoc on that representation of the kingdom of darkness, so also as believers we have the authority to do the same once we come to the cross. If we keep our eyes fixed on Christ and keep His word in our hand and heart, we can do exploits as it is written in Daniel 11:32b, those who know their God shall be strong and shall do exploits. The clencher for me was the hospital scene, hence the title elixir of life: 'Alade' was on the sick bed, in pain, and at the point of death, but then MY GOD...The great physician stepped in with the assurance that all would be well, then HE gave him of His blood, that sweet elixir of life, and LIFE began to flow. I am desiring to be drunk on this elixir, to be so steeped in its' sweetness, that all of me reflects HIM. Indeed Galatians 2:20 says it all, the life which i now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me, and gave himself for me. I would definitely tag the movie a must watch, and as usual i close out with a song from Chris Tomlin. Enjoy!