So here I am as the year is closing out, and I have a lump in my gut, and in my throat. Before I can say anything, I start to weep. Why? Am going through so many emotions all at once. I'm hurting, confused, alone, homesick, and unsure what my next step is to be. As I begin to weep, He steps close, He's been waiting for me to get to this point. You see am a very special one, lol! His bride, but still feeling too independent. He knows this too, so He lets the pain hit, cuz then I'll talk to Him with no promptings. As I wept, I talked my heart out, spoke my fears direct into His ears, and He listened, and let me cry out all the insecurities, fears, and acknowledgments of where I've gone off on a tangent. Then I became aware of the fact that it wasn't just Him, the Father and Spirit were also present. So i laid my grievances out at them as well. They listened, and then my Confidante spoke out. He called me out, telling me exactly what i knew, but was unwilling to face. I didn't feel condemned however, simply relieved because He knew, and I knew, and He still was there. Then I had to thank them, and admit my fear of the Father lol. He scares me, just a tad, being larger than life literally. That done, it's all gone, the pain, fear, hurt, depression. He picked it up, rolled it into the tomb from which He arose, the significance, it dies, and I live on. So as the new year prepares to roll in, I am leaving baggage behind, traveling light into the new season. I am expectant, and I am hopeful. Praying that you all, will also let him exchange your burden with His, and His yoke for the one you now bear. Trust me, it's tons lighter...Enjoy my new favorite song with me, this speaks to a place deep within me, a place that yearns daily to learn to live for His glory, and not mine. After all the life I live is no longer my own Gal2:20, my new favorite bible verse, cuz it is so very true. Its not so easy, because the memory of who I used to be is not so easily erased away. But daily, more of me is emptied out, so more of Him can replace it. Becoming more like my endless love...Jesus I live for you.
